The Internet's Fixation on Heated Rivalry: What It Reveals About Our Desires in Relationships

By Natasza Grzyl

If you’re like me, you’ve heard the words Heated Rivalry floating around a lot lately. This Canadian television series is a queer sports romance focused on an intense on-ice rivalry and off-ice budding relationship between Canadian hockey player, Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) and Russian player, Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie). Adapted from a book by Rachel Reid of the same title, Heated Rivalry has rapidly cemented itself as a cultural touchstone since the release of the TV series. It has, as one may say, taken the internet by storm, exploding into a massive fandom online and skyrocketing its main actors to global fame. This extreme obsession with Heated Rivalry reveals a great deal about our modern desires in terms of the relationships we want to be in.  

A lot of criticism towards the show centres around the frequent and explicit sexual content. While this is valid criticism, many viewers (a significant part of whom are straight women) have expressed great interest in the series not solely because of the sex scenes, but because of the dynamics of the relationships. As the primary relationship takes place between two men, the power imbalances that are usually present in heterosexual relationships are removed, creating a more equally balanced dynamic. The two main characters can explore various ways to attain sexual pleasure together without being bound to the rigid role expectations that straight relationships face. Media portrayals of heterosexual couples are often unable to completely suppress the underlying patriarchal structures of a courtship, and since media is often a form of escapism, straight women may tend to gravitate towards queer romance as it allows them to engage with and perhaps even imagine themselves in relationships that are devoid of such disproportion in authority. Additionally, due to the lack of women in the main relationships of the show, there is no direct misogyny or fear of violence against a woman; instead, we find mutual respect that does not always exist in heterosexual couples, both in real life and in media. As such, it can be said that the popularity of Heated Rivalry, especially among straight women, reveals the desire for equal power balance in relationships.  

Another key aspect of the relation between Hollander and Rozanov which appeals to a large audience is the clear communication between them, especially when it comes to consent. Rozanov is shown being thoughtful in his questions to Hollander when they engage in intercourse for the first time, asking ‘are you okay?’ repeatedly, and generally making sure that Hollander feels comfortable. This is a key step in any romantic or sexual relationship that is often skipped over in media because it is sometimes believed to be a ‘vibe killer’. However, through the depiction of such communication, Heated Rivalry normalises the process, portraying how engaging in consent, checking in, and asking for a partner’s wants and needs is kind and organic, and that it can be done in a way that feels erotic and playful. By doing so, the show strikes a balance between tension and trust, pairing the spark of sexual excitement that animates relationships with the kind of communication that builds genuine security. In the current age of hookup culture and emotional detachment being embedded in modern dating, the open communication encouraged by the show attracts a vast audience because it depicts what many may feel lacking in their own relationships, thus showing a connection that is desirable and which people therefore want to engage with or possibly imagine themselves in. The deep immersion with Heated Rivalry hence suggests that another significant desire in our modern world is clear communication and sensual consent in relationships.  

The general obsession with this show likely stems not only from what people long for in a relationship, but also what type of man they long to be in a relationship with. With the surge of far-right wing parties across the Western world and a rise in ‘manfluencers’ across social media with figures like Andrew Tate, toxic masculinity has become a visibly growing phenomenon, pushing misogynistic, anti-feminist, and hyper-masculine ideas to many, often young and vulnerable, men. As such, there is an increase in traits like physical strength, competitiveness, and dominance being praised as demonstrating ‘true masculinity’ and associated with the right; conversely, being emotionally expressive and asking for help is looked down upon. This, of course, affects relationships, as women may find it difficult to find a male partner who does not solely treat them as ‘arm candy,’ while queer men face the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles even in a homosexual relationship. Heated Rivalry, being set in the highly heteronormative and masculinised setting of the hockey world, explores issues surrounding toxic masculinity, as both main characters face certain expectations regarding their behaviour both on and off the ice. Nevertheless, the show challenges these expectations as it depicts the male characters being both strong, top athletes and vulnerable partners, therefore portraying that caring for the feelings of another person, especially if that other person is also a man, does not make one less masculine. Audiences, women and men alike, are drawn to such depictions, therefore making Heated Rivalry as popular as it is, because they desire involvement with men that are confident in their masculinity and are not afraid to show their emotional side. 

Although Heated Rivalry’s popularity rests on various factors, including its role in being an openly sexual queer series and a form of escapism, I believe that a key part of why the internet seems obsessed with this TV show is its portrayal of a relationship with elements that many people desire in their own connections. While it is largely explicit due to its frequent depiction of sexual intercourse, it is also a story of two queer men falling in love and engaging in a relationship that has an equal power balance, clear communication and consent, and involves healthy masculinity. Therefore, the obsession surrounding Heated Rivalry indicates that in our modern world, where media is where we often look to for things we do not encounter in our daily lives, people desire relationships built on equality and trust.